Finals

I can see clear as day, Tom and I standing on the sidewalk of some dusty road in Sayulita, “But if I go back, I’ll forget” I tried to explain.  I didn’t want to get on the plane the next day, I just wanted to be done with my life in RI, the planning and sacrificing for my goal.  I wanted it to be done already.  I never did have any patience, that’s why I was so proud of myself for doing as much as I had done, but wasn’t it enough, I still had so far to go.  I knew once I came back to my life in RI, my job, my apartment, my TV and internet, that I wouldn’t know that feeling anymore and I would get stuck again.  Of course it wasn’t the best idea to abort my plan and never return to the Sates, I would only be setting myself up for failure in the very near future.  So I got on the plane and vowed to be back in Sayulita within the year.

Fast forward 13 months and I sit in my cozy living room on a freezing and dreary day discussing the termination of our utilities with Tom.  “When should we cancel cable? Are we ready to kill cable yet?”  The answer, sadly for me, is “No”.  I am working harder tying up life’s loose ends than I ever did at my job.  After a day spent rolling over 401k’s, or researching electrical systems and babysitting the installation, or shopping for the perfect sized bin or table or can opener, or taking a photography class, what I want to do is cuddle up on the couch with Tom and veg out to some TV then go to bed.

I have totally forgotten.

I mean, I remember how much I hated TV in March of last year, I remember wanting to cancel cable then; I remember, but I can’t get back there.  I know how much I enjoy myself traveling with Tom, I know I don’t require all the comforts most girls do (or even half of the ones I indulge in today), I know I hate TV and love to read; but sitting here in my underwear in this warm living room without a care in the world but planning for our departure, I find myself holding onto the last of these privileges with a vice grip.  I’m not far from the people who exclaim, “how will you go to the bathroom!?” when I tell them of our plan.  I hope the next owners appreciate the washer and dryer, the dishwasher and freezer, oh, and let’s not forget the bathroom with a hot shower right outside the bedroom where a comfy bed sits already ready for a sleepy head.

It’s like there are two Saras fighting each other, One for change & adventure, and the Other for the safety of routine.

I for one, am rooting for Change & Adventure!

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4 Comments

  1. Victoria

     /  March 21, 2013

    Change is hard, especially giving up the things we think make our life more comfortable. I haven’t had cable in over ten years but have been staying in a temporary apartment (that comes with cable) while our house is worked on for the past 4 months and let me tell you, I love it. We’re moving back into our house a week from today and I am not looking forward to not having TV again… never mind that in 6 months we’re planing to be on the road with out TV, a dishwasher, etc etc! I’m looking forward to the growing pains of having so much less “stuff” but way more “experiences.” I love reading your posts and getting a preview of the growing pains we have ahead of us and am so jealous you guys are starting so soon! Good luck with all the loose ends, hope to see you at Expo and on the road! PS: Sayulita is where the seed of our trip was planted in our heads as well, I can’t wait to get back there!

    Reply
    • Thanks Victoria, it’s nice to know someone is reading and enjoying 🙂 I forget how eager I was to read other’s planning posts, I should write more, if not only to remember the feelings myself.

      I am looking forward to not having so much stuff. Right now our house is set up yard-sale style in every room and I just want it all to be empty! We’re opening the house every weekend until we leave and at this point, I’m ready to say it’s all for free. I want to pack the truck one last final time and just GO! If I could give you any advice, it would be to do the stuff you think you can wait on, now. Don’t wait. I’ve been out of work for 6 weeks and I don’t feel like doing this crap any more now than I did then, I wish I had just done it then. There’s always so much more to do at the end than you thought there would be.

      See you at the Expo, let’s make sure of it! We’re not planning on crossing the boarder until the 1st week in December now, so you’ll probably be ahead of us!

      Reply
  2. great post.
    i think habits are funny, like that!

    Reply
  3. Victoria

     /  March 22, 2013

    Ha, you totally called it! I’m eating up all your posts and anyone else who is leaving soon/just left recently. I’m sllooowwwwly wrapping my mind around the getting rid of stuff process, I love your idea of the every weekend open house sale, may just have to do the same. I don’t even know where half of my things came from sometimes…

    See you for sure at Expo! Keep updating 🙂

    Reply

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